To Bury Your Pain

Frederick Buechner

To bury your pain is a way of surviving your pain and therefore by no means to be dismissed out of hand. It is a way which I venture to say has at one time or another served and continues to serve all of us well. But it is not a way of growing. It is not a way of moving through adolescence into adulthood. If you manage to put behind you the painful things that happen to you as if they never really happened or didn't really matter all that much when they did, then the deepest and most human things you have in you to become are not apt to happen either.

This is an amazing way to "Cope", to hide inside something that is tearing you to pieces, it just doesn't make sense. Bitterness and pain do drive us, but they drive to places that we don't want to go. To be angry and hurt all the time is no way to live either. I know, I am a recovering pusher - I dealt with life by pushing down those points in my life that hurt to much to deal with. I have been learning in school the difference between pushing feelings down until they seemingly go away and actually dealing with those things. It is only through hours of counseling that I am beginning to get free from a pushing. 

Ya see the thing that I had to recognize is that I was just a child and that those things which happened to me were done to me, not because of me, I was a victim of anger and rage, I was a victim of someone else pushing their pain away. You have to see that if we are to break the cycle then we have to deal with our stuff. It is painful to bring it all back up, but God will take it from you. He sent His Son that we might know life and life in abundance. LIfe does not have to be a continued act of coping, God want s you and I to live free. The crucifixion of Christ assures that those who come to Christ with their hearts, will be set free from those chains that bind.

We can actually help with that.  we are called to be in relationship with one another, but we fixate on what others tell us is right and wrong. We need to listen to our hearts, listen to God. He calls us to be together, Adam needed Eve as to not be alone. I need you and you need me, we need each other. You don't need to be a great brain that has all the answer to help me get over it, you need to be there for me and I for you. "No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care."  We can do this thing together, we can Love others and ourselves.

If we do this thing right, we might just get out of here alive!